Confession time: I love the readings for this Sunday. This first reading strikes me as one that could be said by any disciple who finds himself or herself in a difficult situation. We decide to follow Christ, but everything isn’t sweetness and light. There are still struggles and disagreements with family and friends, we still say and do the wrong things (even stupid things), and we haven’t solved poverty, crime, inflation, intolerance, war, or terrorism – the list goes on. Jeremiah may have had worse experiences, but we’ve all felt his discouragement, and we may have decided to throw in the towel. But can we stay away?
I’ve found that I cannot. I’ve made a commitment to help build the kingdom of God on earth, and I feel like I fall short again and again. I let my own fears and wants reign and make the selfish choice. But my love of God and desire to follow Christ is a “fire burning in my heart.” “I grow weary holding it in.” So, I take up the cross of daily living in our present world, and I try again to be faithful. I want to take to heart these words from today’s Gospel:
For whoever wishes to save his [or her] life will lose it,
but whoever loses his [or her] life for my sake will find it.
What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his [or her] life? Matthew 16:25-26
I can also compare the Jeremiah reading to the way I have felt as a liturgist. In my heart, I am a people-pleaser, but I have learned that in liturgy I can never please all of the people all of the time. “No, I can’t change the opening song on your grandmother’s birthday to her favorite song.” “Thank you for the donation of the statue of Mary, but we don’t have a place for it in the sanctuary.” “No, your dog cannot be the ringbearer.” I have a list of “reasonable” requests that I have had to decline. I hope I have a sense of where the line is between appropriate and unsuitable. I hope I have a strong pastoral sense and never came off as a know-it-all tyrant.
When the experience of liturgy is a fire burning in your heart it’s hard to ignore. When you love ritual language and liturgical music and scripture and the Eucharist, you have to find an outlet. We take part in the ancient dance because it is in our bones. We do it by heart because it is in our hearts. We care about how it’s done, that it be done care-fully, because it intensifies the ordinary to a sacred act. It is a gathering with family and music where we feast at the Table of the Word and the Table of the Eucharist. We share in the sacrifice of Christ who gives us his Body and Blood to sustain us.
Today’s Psalm 63 Refrain: My soul is thirsting for you, O Lord my God.
Consider: my flesh pines; my soul thirsts; I am parched; lifeless; without water; as with the riches of a banquet shall my soul be satisfied; in the shadow of your wings I shout for joy.
