Building Parish Hospitality

“Let love be sincere; hate what is evil, hold on to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; anticipate one another in showing honor. Do not grow slack in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the holy ones, exercise hospitality.” - Roman 12:9-13

Making Choices

What makes a person choose one activity over another in this fast-paced multi-option world? People choose to do some things because of a real or perceived obligation. What makes a person freely choose to do something? The choice is often weighed by what the person gets out of the experience. People spend time with activities that give them enjoyment, a “good” feeling, or spiritual or emotional growth.

Being engaged in parish activities is a personal opportunity to learn and grow, develop faith, and strengthen relationships with other members. For example, when we are asked to be on a committee or to take on a task for the parish, we need to remind ourselves that the commitment may require a mind shift. It’s not about one more volunteer commitment, another meeting, or carving out one more piece of our precious time. It’s intended to fill our spirit, not drain it as we use the gifts God has given us in service to the community.

Community membership works when it is based on a Servant Leadership Model based on actions and attitudes from the Scripture passage in which Jesus washes the feet of the disciples. Washing the feet of guests was a matter of hospitality in ancient times, but it would never have been done by the head of the household. It was the task of house slaves. Jesus said, “If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash one another’s feet. I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.” John 13:14-15

In the call to be a disciple of Jesus Christ and a steward of everything God has given, we may feel called to give time and talent to help the community. Engagement can be a fulfilling experience.

Feeling Welcome

Parish activities can be serious, but they also need to be enjoyable. People need to feel welcome. Many parishes have Greeters at Masses; Greeters can be helpful at all activities. The ideal Greeter is outgoing enough to find out a little about participants and introduce them to one another, perhaps pairing people with like interests or personal circumstances (putting retired people together or people with young children together). The Greeter notices people who come alone or people who seem to be strangers, helping them to meet others and feel like they belong.

“Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.” That song was applied to a fictional television show named “Cheers,” but that’s the kind of community that invites people’s participation. A community fosters friendship; people want to spend time with friends. When people get to know and like each other, they are attracted to activities at which they know they’re going to be with one another.

Large parishes need to break people down into smaller groups so that people can get to know each another. Provide opportunities for small group conversation by suggesting ice-breaking questions. One pastor believes, “If you feed them, they will come.” That parish hosts meals and suggests conversation topics to get the talking started. Friends gravitate to friends, so be aware of people who seem to be isolated and draw them into a group. Beware of cliques.