November has become a month to remember those who have died, especially during the past year. Beginning on All Saints’ Day, many parishes set out either a Book of the Dead listing all parishioners who have been buried from the parish or a Book of Remembrance in which people can write in their own names of loved ones who have died. This book is often displayed in a place of honor near the font.
One of the most powerful emotions is grief. Grieving can overwhelm a person, cause physical ailments, and endure for lengthy periods of time. Nothing is ever the same for the loved ones left behind. We readjust our lives and move forward, or we can remain mired in loss and the future becomes unbearable.
Does hope in the resurrection offer consolation at the time of loss? In Luke 20:38, Jesus says, “He is not God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive.” As Christians we believe in life after death, and that we will be reunited with those who have died. Faith doesn’t erase grief, but it can ease the distress and heartache.
Studies have shown that people who experience rituals such as the Catholic funeral rites are aided in the grief process. Funeral rites help the survivors begin to heal emotionally. Mourners need to come to accept the reality of the death in order to move on with their lives.
Funerals bring together a supportive community that can comfort the mourners. The texts and rituals say and do what regular words and actions cannot at this time. The funeral holds foremost a belief in life after death and offers hope. We acknowledge the reality of separation and commend our loved one to God in the sure hope of the resurrection.
It is important to remember that can grief last a long time. The sympathy cards, hot dishes, and solicitation of friends often dry up in a few weeks. But grief can be acute especially during the first year as people remember what it was like just a year ago when the one who died was still here. There is no timetable for sorrow, so don’t expect someone to “be over it” in a certain amount of time.